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SIGN, SIGN, EVERYWHERE A SIGN
August 3, 2008
Deuteronomy 10:12-13
Matthew 12:38-40
OK, I’m going to take a risk here. The following question is not rhetorical; I want you to answer out loud. We’ll see how well you’ve paid attention the last six months. What is the focus of the ministry of this church? (The correct answer is children) Do you know that less than one church in twenty can identify their highest priority? And, in those churches less than fifty percent of the members know what the priority is. Since my return in January I have been adamant that we will focus on children, and their needs, and the needs of those who care for them.
Fifteen years ago, before the United Methodist Church would certify me, I had to pass a psychological evaluation. There was a five hundred question personality profile (the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory) designed to gage where I stood on people skills versus leadership qualities. It asked questions like: Do you talk to God? Do you believe God talks to you? Do you hear God talking now? Do these questions make you paranoid? How long have you been paranoid? There were five or six essay questions designed to examine my response to authority, and willingness to work under the discipline of the church.
Then, there was a trip to Dallas for a one on one interview with a psychiatrist. After a few pleasantries he got right to it. With a stern look on his face said, “You know, the average male pastor has a fairly complex personality. But, yours is much more – structured.”
I smiled, “Yea! Structure and discipline!”
His frown increased and he said, “I mean the average male ministerial candidate has as many ‘traditionally’ feminine qualities as masculine. But, you’re pushed clear over to the masculine side.”
“Yea! I’m a man!”
Now he leaned forward and frowned, and said, “What I mean is you have very little in common with other Pastors. Your personality is much closer to that of a cop.”
“Alright! Let’s hear it for the cops! High five! Oh, I can tell by the look on your face that’s a bad thing.”
At this point he actually smiled a little and said, “It’s not a bad thing if we use it correctly. Here’s the deal. You will be the most effective in a church that lacks direction. Your strength will be in bringing them organization and focus, getting everybody on the same page and working together. However, (and the frown came back) after the church is moving forward the people will need someone who cares deeply for them. What are you going to do when your people need compassion?”
I said, “Well, that’s why God gave me Jackie. Unlike me, she actually likes people. We complement each other.”
He leaned forward, frowned, and shook his head, “Move into your church. Provide the leadership, structure, organization, and discipline they need. Get them all rowing in the same direction. Then – leave! If you do that you will be their all time favorite Pastor, and they will talk about you for years. But, if you stay too long, if you stay until their wounds need binding, your lack of empathy will make you their all time most hated Pastor, and they will talk about you for years.”
I’ve spent a decade working on my people skills, but I’m still more cop than counselor. In the meantime it just makes sense to play to my strong suit – focus and direction. When I came here the church had twenty three children under the age of eighteen whom we were responsible for. I asked you to bring me children and their families, to build this church from the bottom up. And you responded! We now have thirty eight children under eighteen that come to us for spiritual guidance. Some Sundays the gathering for the Children’s Sermon is almost too big for the space. We’ve established a Mother’s Day Out program teaching a Christian curriculum to the members of our community. And, we just finished VBS 2008, which averaged 45 in nightly attendance compared to 17 last year! Brandon is taking more kids to Youth Camp this year than ever before. Thank you for your support!
Where do we go next? I’ve been aggressively praying for guidance, and I’m still not hearing that audible voice. So, it’s necessary to look for the more subtle signs. In the movie “Bruce Almighty”, Bruce begs God, “If you’re real, then help me with this decision. Give me some kind of a sign, any kind of a sign.” At that moment a Department of Transportation truck pulls in front of him loaded with street signs saying: Stop, Turn Back, Don’t Proceed, Turn Around, Caution. Bruce just shakes his head and says, “Just what I thought – nothing.”
So, I had to ask myself what obvious signs I was missing? Jackie and I were looking through a list of the children in the church when it dawned on her that seventeen of the thirty eight have some special need. It was a sign. It might be autism, or Downs Syndrome, or ADHD, or even a physical restriction. But, forty five percent of the children you brought me have special needs. That number is off the charts for a church this size. I am convinced that God brought them here specifically so we can minister to them.
What is the best way to do that? At Annual Conference in June I was given a flyer from the Disability Concerns Committee. Another sign. I called Reverend Liz Moen and explained our situation. She said, “You have what percentage with Special Needs? That’s unheard of!”
I said, “That’s kind of why I’m thinking this is a God thing.”
She said, “Out of the three hundred plus churches in our conference, only three have special needs ministries. And, those three are very large churches with several thousand members. Nobody your size has tried this. There’s no playbook for your situation. Do you have the financial resources to build a separate Special Needs facility, and staff it with therapists?”
I told her, “No. We’re not in that kind of position. Here’s what I do have. The care-givers to these children are excellent. They are parents and grandparents and friends who are doing an exceptional job. My concern is what happens when the care-givers wear out.”
At this point she got excited and said, “Then there are two ministries you must get started now. First, you need a monthly care-giver support group. It has to be a safe place where it’s OK to express frustration, and even vent anger without judgment. It has to be place where they can gain encouragement from those who are a little farther along in the process. Here’s your problem. While the support group will eventually lead and manage itself, you need someone to initially provide guidance. It has to be someone skilled in counseling, but who understands the challenges of Special Needs and the strains inherent on the care-givers. Quite frankly, I don’t know where you’ll find someone like that.”
A few weeks ago our Sally Schluntz obtained permanent employment as the Assistant Counselor at the Denton State School, where she will work with Special Needs children and their parents. It was a sign. She has agreed to help me start the care-giver support group.
Next, Reverend Moen said, “As soon as possible, develop a Respite Program. Once a month, for three or four hours, the church must take the children and let the care-givers have a break. There has to be a day each month that the care-giver can count on when they will have four hours to grocery shop, take a bubble bath, go on a date, or just relax. Four hour when they know their children are safe and protected, and all they have to do is chill.”
This is where I’m counting on you. I’m asking those of you who do not have Special Needs children to commit to give me eight hours a year. I want two days, out of the entire year, when you will give me four hours for the Respite Program. I absolutely need you to commit to this. Now, it is too premature to make an announcement – but the door has been opened (just a crack) to the possibility (nothing more at this point than a possibility) that in the future during Respite the children will have access to therapists who are receiving training in Special Needs. I believe that’s another sign.
The third and final step is to minister to those families who do not yet have Special Needs children, but might have them in their future. We’re talking about pre-parents. How do we build a rapport with them, so that when their Special Needs child arrives they feel comfortable joining with us? The answer is Hollywood 101. Theresa Zumwalt will lead a small group ministry here at the church, focusing on young married couples. Each week they will watch a major motion picture. Theresa will help them to develop a critical eye which can discern when Hollywood is attempting to rewrite your thoughts on Christian issues. The evening will be designed as a fun, entertaining, and educational movie date. It will help us to find and bond with these pre-parents, these potential care-givers to Special Needs children.
We are not going to stop any of the other ministries we currently provide. But, we must follow the signs. It is my intention to start the care-giver support group, the Respite Program, and Hollywood 101 in September. I don’t care whether I am your most loved, or most hated, Pastor. I just want to do the will of God, and serve Him in the way He chooses. I want to read and obey the signs.
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left. Then the king will say to those at his right hand, 'Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.'
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?' And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.'
Matthew 25:31-40
FAMILIES WITHOUT SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN
Your name: _______________________________________________
Would you be willing to come to the church and help watch the Special Needs children of this church, twice a year, for four hours each time?
What day of the week/ time of day would work best for you?
Do you have any special skills/gifts/talents that would benefit our Special Needs Children?
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CARE GIVER FOR A SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD SURVEY
Your name: ________________________________________________
Please list the child (children’s) name (s) and a brief description of their medical condition/ learning disability.
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Would you be interested in a once monthly care-givers support group? ___________________________________
What day of the week/ time of day would be best for you?
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Would you be interested in a once monthly Respite? If so, what day of the week/ time of day would be best for you?
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